Watchmen
March 6th 2009 18:00
Watchmen, 2009
That's how long it's been since I read Watchmen for the first time. That's how long it's been since that alternate dystopian/utopian world crashed into my life and changed it. It was subtle at first, but the kind of dissent and narrowed gaze at establishment, at authority, at the real motivation of anyone who wants to help... it is a tangible change over time.
I went to the midnight showing last night. We were packed in like sardines, but our hardcore of geekness was not to be deterred. "WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?"
We do.
As a long-time comic fan, I have learned that there is always the chance of disappointment in adapting a comic to film, and that you can either go wildly away from the source material (Nick Fury with David Hassellhoff, ohgodohgodmyeyesohgod), or you can stick too close to it (Sin City and 300). By "sticking too close" I mean that the makers stayed so close to the source material that making the plot alterations necessary for any comic story to fit into a motion picture format ended up being painfully obvious (like that whole bit with Leonidas' wife and the jerk Senator), or worse yet, there is nothing different from the comic at all (ever tried to sit through Death Note?).
Watchmen hit a beautiful middle ground. It was nearly frame-by-frame true to the book, but not exactly. The plot did not change, but certain subplots did - they had to, because no one has eight hours to watch one movie, not even with intermissions. They moved around what they had to in order to keep the story going, to keep the pacing, to keep the tension - and with a book that everyone has already read, imagine the work that it takes to keep everyone on the edge of their seats.
Now for the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS):
The Good:
The Comedian was brilliant. Jeffrey Dean Morgan looks like a cross between George Clooney and Robert Downey, Jr., but his acting skill bears no resemblance at all to either of these fellows in that his range is wider, deeper and much more compelling. In my opinion, he could well be way beyond both of them put together. I was struck with how memorable he was, how memorable his face was, how I felt like I was truly interacting with this man and his demons.
And then there was Nite Owl, played by Patrick Wilson. He was a scared man, flawed but loving, motivated clearly by his own need and drive to do something good, to do something significant. If you watch the Donner Superman outtakes, you notice that Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent was not "Superman With Glasses". Everything about him - his posture, his body language, his face - changed when he went into hero mode. Patrick Wilson got that and ran with it, I think, because by the end of the movie, you not only believe that he could completely be that guy but that not being that guy was killing him slowly.
And then there was Rorschach. I'm probably going to get rocks thrown at me for this, but Jackie Earle Haley pulled a Heath Ledger on this one. Rorschach is central to the story, and it would have been easier, I think, to film his part as softer, rounder... something more palatable to delicate tastes. Haley gave that the middle finger and not only captured the essence of the crazed justice-fixated lunatic, he took it to a level that, I dare say, the comic format did not allow for - and he did it brilliantly. No... that's not a big enough word. He was the next logical step and perfect counterpart to the Comedian.
In the last incredible performance I'll mention - and I'll keep in brief here - is Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan... yeah, the CG was a little weird at places, but with both the comic book and a plethora of other painted and prosthetic-ed characters of which to follow in the footsteps, the micro-expressions that were totally Doc Matt might not have been done so masterfully by anyone else. Even more than the analogous scene in the comic, I was moved to tears.
The Bad:
Laurie Jupiter was never my favorite from the comic because she just seemed so passionless, but that was really the whole point of her story. She was a woman conflicted, living in a world that she was programmed to want and incapable of doing literally anything else. That was Laurie from the story. The Laurie that Malin Akerman played seemed to have no genuine emotional motivation ever, but she sure did seem to like to ***k. Even her brawling scenes were more about posing and posturing than about accomplishing a task.
Along comes Ozymandias, a hero who has come out to the public with his real identity as Adrian Veidt following legislation that makes costumed hero-ing illegal. He's supposed to be the Smartest Man in the World. In the first half of the movie, I found him irritatingly vacant - even vacuous - and mostly he just struck me as an overwhelming poofda who was uncomfortable with his clothes, with himself, and with his role. Towards the end, this mellowed a little, but he never really made the transition to "Smartest Man" - maybe a little nuttier, but smarter? Not so much. And really... that much of a pencil-neck probably shouldn't be trying to play hero. He looked like he was going to get himself hurt.
The Ugly:
The only really jarring parts of the whole thing were the prosthetics. Nixon didn't look like Nixon, he looked like a guy wearing a Nixon mask. Sally Jupiter didn't look old and drunk, she looked like she was wearing a really weird second skin that just wasn't attached properly. I think the only prosthetic piece they did really well were Moloch's ears - and that was a little detail from the book that I was grateful for.
Also, I have three words for you: Big. Blue. Dong. A lot. And he's definitely not Jewish.
There are several reasons that this got a hard "R" rating. The violence is over-the-top hardcore in places - and that is very much part of the comic. The sex is also... well, a little silly, frankly, but what the h**l, someone's getting laid. The subject matter is also very true to the comic, and that means that the more difficult scenes, the ones that will likely have many people turning away, have been included unabashedly.
It's not a perfect movie, and I think my brain would have exploded if it had been. The detracting points were totally made up for (and then some) by the good points, and even though I couldn't tell you how many times I've read the comic, I felt I was learning something new and different about the story while also validating all the things I felt about it before. Now, just wait until "Tales of the Black Freighter" are released with it, right before it goes to DVD... that's going to be a dark and stormy ride.
4.5 Stars
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