Zachary FenellValerie on the Stairs
January 26th 2009 19:00
Valerie on the Stairs, 2005
Monday is kinda shaping up to be our horror day, which I think is pretty appropriate when you get down to it. Monday is the day when we get back to our jobs, our lives, and we have to turn our brains back on and deal with the standard non-fun parts of life. In a lot of ways, that's what the horror genre is about: getting past the auto-pilot mode of life and dealing with the grittiness of real life.
In another installment of the Masters of Horror series, Mick Garris shares a Clive Barker story that takes us through the experiences of a young unpublished writer Rob Hainsey (Tyron Leitso) who moves into Highberger House, a half-way home for unwanted story-makers. Through some quirky twist of oddness, the original fellow Highberger bought the house years before and donates food and lodging to writers looking for their big break. Many people have been there for several years, including Everette Neeley (played by none other than the awesome Christopher Lloyd).
Rob starts hearing weird things almost immediately, and he suspects that the house is haunted. Unfortunately, it's not just haunted by the ghost of a voluptuous and strangely attractive girl but also a sadistic and murderous demon. Zaniness ensues.
Okay, maybe it's not zaniness, but at least for the many of the plot points of the movie, I found myself being taken out of the suspension of disbelief and thinking, "Are they serious? You have got to be kidding me..." That's never a good thing for a movie in the horror genre or any other. The effects are passable, the costuming is... interesting, and the overall plot is very Clive Barker (which you'll understand completely if you've seen Lord of Illusion or Rawhead Rex).
The ending, however, begs you to go back and watch it again because it's impossible to fathom that someone could bring you all the way to this conclusion and NOT leave some sort of clue. Yes, I'm saying that it's a very low-budget version of Sixth Sense, except without the awesome story behind it.
Admittedly, Clive Barker holds a precious place in my heart, but only as a novelist and short story writer. When he gets into movies, it just doesn't translate well.
He only gets 3 stars for this, and that's just because I don't want to make him feel worse than he probably already does on a Monday.
3 Stars
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